In this episode of Before It Begins: Strategically Speaking with Carol Barkes, CPM we discuss what mediation is and how and when to use it. One of the most critical aspects of mediation is picking the right mediator for your situation. Join Carol as she explains all of this and more.

Carol Barkes, CPM uses her neuroscience training and years of experience as a conflict and mediation consultant to guide use through the fundamentals of conflict mediation. Knowing how the brain works only deepens our understanding of ourselves and others; therefore, Carol's integration of neuroscience topics backed by cited research makes her lessons even more useful.

Chapters:

0:00 - Intro.

0:40 - What is Mediation?

4:40 - The Court vs. The Table.

8:30 - First Steps to Finding the Right Mediator.

13:30 - Carol's Experience with Various Mediations.

15:40 - What Makes a Strong Mediator?

19:30 - Styles of Mediation.

24:15 - Brain Based Mediators vs. Traditional.

25:10 - What is Your Goal?

26:20 - How to get in touch with Carol Barkes, CPM.

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In this episode of Before It Begins: Strategically Speaking with Carol Barkes, CPM we touch on the subject of categorizing people into enemy or friend and why this strategy of communication is outdated. Carol breaks down why and how you should be finding the middle ground with difficult relationships. These people could very well be your secret to success in business and life.

Carol Barkes, CPM uses her neuroscience training and years of experience as a conflict and mediation consultant to guide use through the fundamentals of conflict mediation. Knowing how the brain works only deepens our understanding of ourselves and others; therefore, Carol's integration of neuroscience topics backed by cited research makes her lessons even more useful.

Chapters:

0:00 - Intro on Carol's First Enemy.

2:30 - 1 Victor Mentality.

6:00 - The Minor Miscommunication.

8:30 - Process Vs. Person.

11:10 - Winning the Battle, and Losing the Person.

13:50 - Getting to The Core of The Issue.

16:10 - Question the Outcome.

16:45 - Carol's and a Sports Team She is Mediating.

19:10 - Respect Despite Agreement.

22:00 -Hero and Victim Mentality.

24:05 - Future Focused.

27:00 - Family.

30:00 - How to get in touch with Carol Barkes, CPM.

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In this episode of Before It Begins: Strategically Speaking with Carol Barkes, CPM we examine the common battle cry of both sexes..."he's a narcissist" or "she's bipolar!" These tropes are common in relationships and often the last resort of a losing argument. Today, Carol shows you a better way forward and how to effectively deal with people in your life who may be using these lines as a way to avoid dealing with the real problem.

Carol Barkes, CPM uses her neuroscience training and years of experience as a conflict and mediation consultant to guide use through the fundamentals of conflict mediation. Knowing how the brain works only deepens our understanding of ourselves and others; therefore, Carol's integration of neuroscience topics backed by cited research makes her lessons even more useful.

Chapters:

0:00 - Intro From The Road.

1:30 - 3 Things to Know About Labels .

2:20 - The DSMV. Definitions by The Book.

4:30 - Labeling.

7:50 - Post-Covid and Poor Communication Skills.

9:00 - The 4 Horseman of a Relationship.

11:10 - The Problem, Not The Person.

13:25 - Victim and Villain Mentality.

15:10 - Carol's Real Estate Negotiation.

16:35 - If They Put You in, Claim The Box.

19:05 - Flattery.

19:35 - Closing Remarks.

20:15 - How to get in touch with Carol Barkes, CPM.

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In our previous episode of Before It Begins: Strategically Speaking with Carol Barkes, we dove into the key aspects of the skill of listening. Today, we are flipping the coin to examine what makes for a good speaker. One who would like to be truly heard.

Carol Barkes, CPM uses her neuroscience training and years of experience as a conflict and mediation consultant to guide use through the fundamentals of Speaking to Be Heard. Speaking well is not a talent people are born with. No. Carol details in this episode how to speak in a way where your listener doesn't just hear, but absorbs, especially in difficult conversations. Beyond the basics, Carol explains why speaking to be heard may just resolve your next conflict before it even happens.

Chapters:

0:00 - Intro

1:15 - 3 Ways to Improve Your Speaking NOW.

1:50 - Vocal Pitch.

3:05 - Conversational Tone.

5:15 - Tone and Pitch Management Techniques.

6:58 - Practical Neuroscience. The Rule of 4.

9:10 - Said vs. Heard.

10:45 - Compassionate Communication.

11:25 - Limiting Word Usage. Rule of 10.

13:15 - Play with Silence.

15:35 - Carol's Mom Would Hate to Be a Student in Her Class.

19:15 - The Impact of Sloth Slow Conversation.

20:15 - Storytelling vs. Fact-Spewing.

22:20 - Slang and Pronunciation.

25:50 -Jargon.

27:23 - Explain The Behavior, Don't Label.

29:55 - The OFTEN Strategy.

32:44 - How It Will Save You Energy and Time.

33:30 - Closing Remarks.

34:40 - How to get in touch with Carol Barkes.

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In this episode of Before It Begins: Strategically Speaking with Carol Barkes, we dive into the key aspects of the skill of listening. That's right, skill.

Carol Barkes C.P.M, uses her neuroscience training and years of experience as a conflict and mediation consultant to guide use through the fundamentals of good listening. Listening well is not a talent people are born with. No. Carol details in this episode how to listen to really hear, especially in difficult conversations. Beyond the basics, Carol explains why listening well may just resolve your next conflict before it even happens.

Chapters:

0:00 - Intro

0:24 - Carol's flashback to her childhood in Henderson, Nevada.

2:14 - The Pool Pump Fiasco.

5:22 - 4 Simple Concepts to Improve Your Listening.

6:15 - Who is Carol Barkes?

6:35 - The Benefits of Listening Better.

7:03 - Step 1: How to Prepare Yourself to Listen.

8:50 - Step 2: Check Your Filters.

11:18 - Step 3: Slow Down.

11:39 - Step 4: Remove Obstacles.

15:55 - How to Correctly Respond to Someone.

18:00 - Emotion Vs. Value: How to make someone feel heard.

19:20 -The Importance of Clarification.

21:50 -The Orca Story: An anecdote on mediation.

26:20 -Carol's Tips on Negotiation.

30:30 -The Value of Non-Verbal Communication.

32:10 -The Power of the Mona Lisa Smile.

36:46 - How to get in touch with Carol Barkes.

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In the first episode of Before It Begins: Strategically Speaking with Carol Barkes, we take an in depth look at how your brain handles conflict.

Carol Barkes M.B.A., B.B.A., uses her neuroscience training and years of experience as a conflict and communication consultant to guide use through exactly what happens to us at the psychological and physiological level during a conflict. Using this knowledge, Carol guides us through her best practices to deal with conflict effectively, finding the wins hidden in the chaos. Carol also teaches us highly effective strategies to avoid conflict all together.

Timecodes:

0:00 - Intro

0:06 - Carol Barkes Welcome and Intro to Conflict.

0:44 - Why we should care about conflict.

2:24 - What Carol learned from using this tools in her court mediation program.

3:23 - Who is Carol Barkes?

5:10 - Carol's first major pivot: Firefighter to...?

6:15 - Business, divorce, and life changes.

8:50 - 3 Main Topics for dealing with conflict.

9:18 - Stress.

15:40 - Perception and Brain Filtration.

18:50 - Lack of Information and the downward spiral.

22:10 - Tips to have better conversations.

22:34 - Closing remarks with Carol Barkes.

23:45 - How to get in touch with Carol Barkes.

Connect With Carol:

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