Showing results by author "Simon Carr" in All Categories

At this extraordinary national moment, with the country in lockdown, Audible teams up with some of our country's biggest stars, as they invite you in to their own homes for some uplifting chat.

Cy has had his monster license taken away, and he has been reclassified as a Pirate, on account of him just being a normal guy with just one eye. The Pirates life is not for Cy so when an opportunity to get his license reinstated presents itself, Cy embarks on a quest, of some kind, with some people of some description, to get something or other.

The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.

Well, that was sudden! Shamus turns on the television to discover that the planet has been invaded. Drew, Sabastian, and Mary, along with Shamus and an alien visitor, Teak, are all that survived the swift apocalypse.

For a millennia, they sat waiting, traveling through the dark, empty, cold vacuum of space, plotting our demise. Every continuity was planned in detail. They were ready to wipe out our armies, crush any resistance, and sweep aside any warriors. Mankind’s fate was sealed. It was only ever just a matter of time. What they had not planned for - what they are not ready for - is Karen! Any likeness between Karen and any real persons alive or dead is purely inevitable.

There was always one point, one moment in all of reality where everything that was will fight for everything that might be. It’s this point. Well, several points, but all happening at the same time, but not the same time. It’s super complicated. Some question whether it really happened at all, or will happen.

The force is on a break! One of the greatest sci-fi stories ever told has been told by the heroes, it’s been told by the villains, but it has never been told by the people who were there but did not really care, because they just worked there, until now!

Dear God a zombie bit Myffaine! All merry hell breaks loose and life as we know it is in danger of being snuffed out from the planet on what is otherwise not too bad of a Tuesday. Barry and Myffanie have to negotiate a Zombie apocalypse in an effort to save the market value of the house they bought in Ptthwit five years ago. An accident in a nearby cosmetics laboratory has unleashed a zombie horde onto the village, one that may take over the entire planet if they don't stop it, or worse completely wipe out the extra value Barry's Garage extension put onto their property.

Everything was better in the '90s unless it was being attacked by ghost witches. If it was being attacked by ghost witches then it was not that great; although it happened at a great time and in an awesome setting.

Bruce thinks he is helping mankind and playing his part in saving the planet when he develops his serum for speeding up the development of lab-grown cultured meat. What Bruce has actually done is send us to the bottom of the food chain. Well, not all the way to the bottom. We are still above ducks. Nobody gets eaten by a duck.

Since mankind first climbed down from the trees, we have looked out to the stars. We looked outward, wondering what secrets to our existence are out there. Professor John Spanks is about to discover the biggest secret the universe has. John has his world turned upside down when he discovers that all this time, we were looking the wrong way!

Bishop's Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked. Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.

If you think life is a game, wait until you play death! Chris and Steve were quite happy sitting in their rooms playing online games until events in a kabab shop changed everything and reset all of the rules. A deal with the Grim Reaper could give them both a second chance at life if they can play the game of their lives inside some of the games they have only ever seen through a screen, until now. Luckily, they are not alone; friends they had not met, or maybe they had, help the new guys - the Noobs!

Cy's story draws to a close. The end comes for us all eventually, but what end we face is in the hands of the Gods. Cy stands at the end of all things with his friends, his fate unknown, his destiny unclear, his gas bill unpaid.

This queen was never a princess. Rejected as a child, Rangalan found family, friends and a home with the goblin folk of the mountains. Now hunted by the man who first rejected her, Rangalan's father, King Longhorn, there's nothing Rangalan will not do to protect her friends. That all sounds very serious. It's not. It’s actually all rather silly, utter nonsense if you ask me. Listen to it if you must, but don’t say I did not warn you.

Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram: teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards.... He decides enough is enough. He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.

In a place unknown. In a time nobody is sure of. Stuff happened, and there were Dragons. Epic dobadoobries unfold at an incredible pace around Prince Jasper and his man-servent, page, the guy who goes with him, Roulart. Can they stop the evil Queen from taking over Prince Jaspers's kingdom, and why should you care?

Bob's day is off to a bad start. He is abducted by alien blobs and is put into a zoo, while the rest of humanity is being taken to be slaughtered and turned into burgers. He has had better Thursdays. Bob's handler Fred befriends Bob, and the two of them try to change the legal status of humans from food to intelligent life so that the slaughter ship can be stopped and everyone returned to Earth.

Real love knows no realities. The multiverse's first power couple were once a lonely queen and a king who had lost his kingdom. This is the story of how a multiverse in Khaos brought them together.

The fate of every living thing in the multiverse that has ever existed or is going to exist rests in the hands of a band of, well, weirdos if I am honest, but they are our only hope. Our reality and every possible reality are under attack from an evil force called Khaos that has sent apocalypse after apocalypse at every reality around the planet Earth. Not every version of Earth fell; a mighty few stopped the apocalypse sent by Khaos. These few are all that stand in the way of Khaos...these warriors, these heroes, these Apocalypse Blockers!