Advice Not Given
A Guide to Getting Over Yourself
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Narrated by:
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Mark Epstein MD.
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By:
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Mark Epstein MD.
About this listen
"Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time." (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)
Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, renowned psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark Epstein presents a how-to guide rooted in two traditions, Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life.
Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And, while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, Dr. Mark Epstein reveals how Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, two traditions that developed in entirely different times and places and, until recently, had nothing to do with each other, both identify the ego as the limiting factor in our well-being, and both come to the same conclusion: When we give the ego free reign, we suffer; but when it learns to let go, we are free.
With great insight, and in a deeply personal style, Epstein offers listeners a how-to guide that refuses a quick fix, grounded in two traditions devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life. Using the Eightfold Path, eight areas of self-reflection that Buddhists believe necessary for enlightenment, as his scaffolding, Epstein looks back productively on his own experience and that of his patients. While the ideas of the Eightfold Path are as old as Buddhism itself, when informed by the sensibility of Western psychotherapy, they become something more: a road map for spiritual and psychological growth, a way of dealing with the intractable problem of the ego. Breaking down the wall between East and West, Epstein brings a Buddhist sensibility to therapy and a therapist's practicality to Buddhism. Speaking clearly and directly, he offers a rethinking of mindfulness that encourages people to be more watchful of their ego, an idea with a strong foothold in Buddhism but now for the first time applied in the context of psychotherapy.
Our ego is at once our biggest obstacle and our greatest hope. We can be at its mercy or we can learn to mold it. Completely unique and practical, Epstein's advice can be used by all - each in his or her own way - and will provide wise counsel in a confusing world. After all, as he says, "Our egos can use all the help they can get."
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Critic reviews
“Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time.” (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)
“Mark Epstein’s Advice Not Given continues his important, fascinating work in exceptionally lucid language. It also offers its readers a collection of fables, vignettes, and personal revelations with the true capacity to rearrange one’s perspective, even change one’s life. I suspect many of these offerings will stay with me for the long haul, for which I’m very grateful.” (Maggie Nelson, New York Times best-selling author of The Argonauts)
“Epstein’s book of practical suggestions will leave readers educated, inspired, and equipped with new tools for psychological health.” (Publishers Weekly, starred review)
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- 10 Steps That Will Put You on the Road to Real Happiness
- By: James Baraz, Shoshana Alexander
- Narrated by: James Baraz, Shoshana Alexander
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Joy is not for just the lucky few - it's a choice anyone can make. In this groundbreaking book, based on his popular course, James Baraz helps you discover a path to the happiness that's right in front of you, offering a step-by-step program that will reorient your mind away from dissatisfaction and distraction and toward the contentment and delight that is abundantly available in our everyday lives. You can decide to be happy.
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I listen to Awakening Joy over and over
- By Love Coach, Annette Carpien, PCC on 04-14-16
By: James Baraz, and others
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The Wise Heart
- A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology
- By: Jack Kornfield
- Narrated by: Jack Kornfield
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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You have within you an unlimited capacity for extraordinary love, for joy, for communion with life, and for unshakable freedom - and here is how to awaken it. In The Wise Heart, celebrated author and psychologist Jack Kornfield offers an accessible, comprehensive, and illuminating guide to the universal teachings of Buddhist psychology. He shows you how to use powerful Buddhist insights and practices to go beyond the trap of "self-improvement".
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Awesome!
- By Nik LaCroix on 05-01-15
By: Jack Kornfield
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The Seeker's Guide
- By: Elizabeth Lesser
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Lesser
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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America has given birth to a wisdom tradition entirely its own, a spirituality that is as diverse as its people, and that respects the freedom and uniqueness of each individual. Judeo-Christian traditions and the meditation practices of Asia and India...modern science and Native American teachings...Sufism and transpersonal psychology - The New American Spirituality explores what happens when these and other traditions cohabitate our unique cultural landscape.
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Very thorough and enlightening
- By Pony on 08-30-14
By: Elizabeth Lesser
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Nothing Holy About It
- The Zen of Being Just Who You Are
- By: Tim Burkett
- Narrated by: Fajer Al-Kaisi
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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According to legend, when the founder of Zen Buddhism was asked about the main principle of his holy teaching, he replied that there was "nothing holy about it!" Now, a millennium and a half later, Tim Burkett reveals how and why the wisdom of nonholiness is the key to a joyful heart. You don't need to go looking for something sacred - the happiness you seek is right where you are.
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Beautiful words
- By Asiyah on 05-04-17
By: Tim Burkett
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Parenting with Presence
- Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Polly Stone
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons - refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests - can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment.
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fantastic
- By Sarah Prentice on 06-26-16
By: Susan Stiffelman
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Real Happiness at Work
- Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement, and Peace
- By: Sharon Salzberg
- Narrated by: Sharon Salzberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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How would you like to be calmer, less distracted, more productive, and more content at your job? You might think it would take more hours in the day, a better boss, more support, less interference, a shorter commute - and the list goes on. Most of the things we think would help are either not in our control or simply not realistic. But there is one thing we can do to achieve the qualities we seek, and it can be done invisibly and often: meditation.
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inspirational and totally useful
- By C. L. Campion on 10-21-15
By: Sharon Salzberg
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The Power of Kindness 10th Anniversary Edition
- The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life
- By: Piero Ferrucci
- Narrated by: Mitch Horowitz
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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When The Power of Kindness first appeared in 2006 it thrilled and challenged listeners with one audacious promise: Your acts of generosity and decency are the secret to a fuller, more satisfying life. Kindness is not some squishy virtue but the very key to your own happiness. With nearly 125,000 copies sold, we're celebrating the book's tenth anniversary with this new edition, featuring a complete new chapter by Piero Ferrucci on the theme of "Harmlessness", which joins his other chapters on virtues such as "Honesty", "Warmth", and "Loyalty".
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Life changing
- By Leslie Alonso on 08-05-24
By: Piero Ferrucci
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Constructive Living
- By: David Reynolds
- Narrated by: David Reynolds
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Constructive Living combines two of the most popular forms of therapy in Japan into one profoundly effective approach that will not only enhance your productivity but also bring a flexible, responsive mind - a Zenlike tranquility - a to your personal and professional lives. Discover the life-changing potential of Morita therapy (based on taking right action in the moment) and Naikan therapy (a way to cultivate your awareness of how the world supports you) in three information-packed sessions.
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Insightfully Practical and Realistic
- By Paul Fears on 02-08-16
By: David Reynolds
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The Dharma of the Princess Bride
- What the Coolest Fairy Tale of Our Time Can Teach Us About Buddhism and Relationships
- By: Ethan Nichtern
- Narrated by: Ethan Nichtern
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Humorous yet spiritually rigorous, drawing from pop culture and from personal experience, The Dharma of "The Princess Bride" teaches us how to understand and navigate our most important personal relationships from a 21st-century Buddhist perspective. Friendship. Romance. Family. These are the three areas Ethan Nichtern delves into, taking as departure points the indelible characters - Westley, Fezzik, Vizzini, Count Rugen, Princess Buttercup, and others from Rob Reiner's perennially popular film.
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A fun and refreshing take on Buddhism
- By Oak Grove on 12-06-17
By: Ethan Nichtern
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Happiness Is an Inside Job
- Practicing for a Joyful Life
- By: Sylvia Boorstein Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In her more than four decades of Buddhist practice and teaching, Boorstein has discovered that the secret to happiness lies not in monastic solitude but in cultivating our connections with the world. She reminds us that our hearts want to appreciate, encourage, and love, and that these qualities lead to a grounded sense of happiness.
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Even better than expected
- By Peter Efland on 07-02-15
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How Can I Help?
- Stories and Reflections on Service
- By: Paul Gorman, Ram Dass
- Narrated by: Paul Brion
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Not a day goes by without our being called upon to help one another - at home, at work, on the street, on the phone. We do what we can. Yet so many questions come up to complicate this natural response. In this practical helper's companion, the authors explore a path through these confusions and provide support and inspiration for us in our efforts as members of the helping professions, as volunteers, as community activists, or simply as friends and family trying to meet each other's needs.
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Please Read!
- By Eric Urban on 12-01-24
By: Paul Gorman, and others
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Meditations on Intention and Being
- Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga, Mindfulness, and Compassion
- By: Rolf Gates
- Narrated by: Kevin Kenerly
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Presented in the form of 365 inspirational daily reflections, Gates helps listeners - from experienced yogis to novices seeking a little tranquility - to fundamentally reconsider their relationships with their minds, their bodies, and the universe around them through self-reflection.
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Loved This Book
- By Brittney on 11-24-16
By: Rolf Gates
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Aging as a Spiritual Practice
- A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
- By: Lewis Richmond
- Narrated by: Fred Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Everything changes. For Buddhist priest and meditation teacher Lewis Richmond, this fundamental Buddhist tenet is the basis for a new inner road map that emerges in the later years, charting an understanding that can bring new possibilities, fresh beginnings, and a wealth of appreciation and gratitude for the life journey itself.
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Aging as a Spiritual Practice ensures a life fulfilled.
- By Rizalina C. Galicinao on 06-18-17
By: Lewis Richmond
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Challenging and Enlightening
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The Healing Trauma Summit: Volume 1
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The path through trauma is one of the most difficult anyone can tread. With The Healing Trauma Summit, you’ll find that you don’t have to do so alone. Featuring some of the most prominent voices in the field, this audio collection will give you resources and options for the journey out of trauma and toward peace.
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Rich and insightful somatic wisdom
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After having a nationally televised panic attack on Good Morning America, Dan Harris knew he had to make some changes. A lifelong nonbeliever, he found himself on a bizarre adventure, involving a disgraced pastor, a mysterious self-help guru, and a gaggle of brain scientists.
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Mandatory read before trying any self-help books
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When Things Fall Apart
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Be careful before buying
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The Places That Scare You
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Here Pema provides the tools to deal with the problems and difficulties that life throws our way. This wisdom is always available to us, she teaches, but we usually block it with habitual patterns rooted in fear. Beyond that fear lies a state of openheartedness and tenderness. This audiobook teaches us how to awaken our basic goodness and connect with others, to accept ourselves and others complete with faults and imperfections, and to stay in the present moment by seeing through the strategies of ego that cause us to resist life as it is.
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Lotus Girl
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The daughter of an artist, Helen Tworkov grew up in the heady climate of the New York School of Abstract Expressionism; yet from an early age, she questioned the value of Western cultural norms. At the age of twenty-two, she set off for Japan, then traveled through Cambodia, India, and eventually to Tibetan refugee camps in Nepal. Set against the arresting cultural backdrop of the sixties and their legacy, this intimate self-portrait depicts Tworkov's search for a true home but also into the ways each of us can better understand and transform ourselves.
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Amazing story
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Let Go Now: Embrace Detachment as a Path to Freedom
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Do you ever feel like you give other people too much power over what you think and feel? Does how your mate or child or employer treat you make or break your day? Do you find yourself feeling immobilized by other people's expectations and demands? Through 200 meditations, Karen Casey teaches you how to let go of the illusion that you can control anyone or anything beyond yourself. You'll learn how to find your own balance point and how to get to it whenever you find yourself tempted to become enmeshed in other people's problems or to rescue them.
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Ok Book, Stiff and Boring Narration
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How We Live Is How We Die
- By: Pema Chödrön
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As much as we might try to resist, endings happen in every moment—the end of a breath, the end of a day, the end of a relationship, and ultimately the end of life. And accompanying each ending is a beginning, though it may be unclear what the beginning holds. In How We Live Is How We Die, Pema Chödrön shares her wisdom for working with this flow of life—learning to live with ease, joy, and compassion through uncertainty, embracing new beginnings, and ultimately preparing for death with curiosity and openness rather than fear.
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Dealing with disappointment!
- By Sabine Blanchard on 10-19-22
By: Pema Chödrön
What listeners say about Advice Not Given
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mike Federle
- 01-24-18
Insightful
I enjoyed this insightful book immensely. I plan to listen again. The reading for me was soothing.
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- Sarah
- 05-12-18
excellent read
definitely going to listen to this a few more times, gave me much needed insights.
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2 people found this helpful
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- annak
- 07-27-19
One of the best books in this field
I enjoyed every minute of it, and I believe I learned more about Buddhism and the psychic than I ever expected.
Thank you, Mark.
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- Margaret Allan
- 06-01-23
Love letter to Buddhism and psychotherapy
Mark’s mellifluous voice takes us on a personal, deeply felt and meaningful catch-up with his thinking in traversing both these worlds. I have used his writing and reading as a self object a la Kohut, carrying his wisdom and fluency though a difficult day or two, always enlivened. I will listen again. I highly recommend this work
Margaret Allan PsyD
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- John S.
- 12-12-18
Honest and enlightening
The first half hour was painful due to the slow cadence of the author/narrator but then things pick up. I found myself using the 30sec back button often. Lots of good to apply to life. Dr. Epstein is very honest and not pretentious unlike some in the same category. Will listen to his other books.
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- Manuel Valdez
- 10-29-19
Great Read
This is a good book for those who intend to practice mindfulness, meditation, or “consciousness” in the long term. This book serves as a helping hand for anyone struggling with being mindful as it explains the underlying dharma behind the practice.
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- Nisan Man
- 12-28-20
splendid book for starting the path
I found the book enlightening. I plan to read more on the consciousness and Buddhism
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- Karo
- 10-04-23
Brilliant read/listen ❤️
Brilliant read/listen. I appreciate the wise reflections around both areas (psychotherapy & Buddhism) that are very important to me.
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- TCope
- 02-12-18
Framework
Although this book does not offer a formula for becoming aware of, and interacting with ones own ego, Mark does certainly offer a compelling framework for approaching ones own relationship with oneself, and from there, the world.
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- Marc
- 07-15-18
I even sent a copy to my therapist.
Really brilliant. Helps me connect my therapy with my meditation practice. I even sent a copy to my therapist so she could keep up.
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