Perfectly Hidden Depression
How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression
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Narrated by:
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Eleanor Caudill
About this listen
When your life looks perfect, but you're silently falling apart....
If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
With this compassionate guide, you'll begin the process of understanding your perfectionism, identifying destructive beliefs, and connecting with emotions suppressed for far too long. You'll also find tangible tips for quieting that critical inner voice, and powerful strategies for coping with difficult feelings. Most importantly, you'll learn that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. If you're ready to stop hiding and start healing, this groundbreaking book will guide you - every imperfect step of the way.
©2019 Margaret Robinson Rutherford, PhD and Jennifer Marshall (P)2020 New Harbinger PublicationsListeners also enjoyed...
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- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
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- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
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Reclaim Your Life: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy in 7 Weeks
- Strategies to Manage Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, OCD, and More
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- Narrated by: Tiffany Morgan
- Length: 3 hrs and 56 mins
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Thoughts are simply a normal part of being human, but we’ve all had them disrupt our lives. Reclaim Your Life teaches you to accept and manage your thoughts with evidence-based principles and strategies from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Discover ways to increase your flexibility in thinking, get some distance from your thoughts, and work toward a life full of values and purpose. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helps you get a handle on your emotions and find more adaptive responses from difficulties like panic attacks and low self-esteem.
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Fast narrator
- By Aida on 10-14-20
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The Good Karma Divorce
- Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life
- By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Narrated by: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
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The average divorce takes two years with a median cost of $30,000. Yet the true cost of divorce is more than time or money; it is the legacy of the decisions made during the process. No matter how long two people have been married, whether there are children or not, divorce often leads to bad choices that can forever alter a family's life. But what if you could reverse the stereotype and move regret-free through this process?
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Thanks for the great advice!
- By Tom Clemente on 11-09-16
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Understanding Your Grief
- Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart
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Explaining the important difference between grief and mourning, this book explores every mourner's need to acknowledge death and embrace the pain of loss. Also explored are the many factors that make each person's grief unique and the many normal thoughts and feelings mourners might have. Questions of spirituality and religion are addressed as well.
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Some of the Most Valuable Resource I Encountered
- By Anonymous User on 09-13-23
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Fierce Self-Compassion
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
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Taming Your Outer Child
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Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.
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Her voice made me cringe.
- By zoe on 02-15-21
By: Susan Anderson
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
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The Courage Habit
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In The Courage Habit, certified life coach Kate Swoboda offers freedom from the outdated belief that one must be fearless in order to live courageously. Instead, she defines courage as a willingness to act on what we want in spite of our fears and offers an evidence-based program to help readers conquer their inner critic, overcome worries, increase resilience, work toward their highest aspirations, and make courage a habit every day.
By: Kate Swoboda, and others
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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Getting Past Your Past
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- Narrated by: Karen White
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Whether we've experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or don't fully understand. Getting Past Your Past offers practical procedures that demystify the human condition and empower listeners looking to achieve real change. An easy conversational style, humor, and fascinating real life stories make it simple to understand the brain science behind why we get stuck in various ways and what we can about it.
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
- By MZHOLLAND on 08-20-12
By: Francine Shapiro
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In the tradition of Paul Tough's How Children Succeed and Wendy Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, this groundbreaking manifesto focuses on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life's inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults.
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Mental illness loves to tell lies. One of those lies is that you really should be able to manage what you're struggling with. Pastor and psychotherapist Ryan Casey Waller says no. Mental health issues are not a symptom of a spiritual failing or insufficient faith; rather, suffering is the very thing our Savior seeks to heal as he leads us toward restoration. And yet, as Waller has experienced personally, the battle can be lonely and discouraging. But it doesn't have to be.
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So insightful, helpful, and comforting!
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Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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Internal Family Systems Therapy - Novice review
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Mental illness loves to tell lies. One of those lies is that you really should be able to manage what you're struggling with. Pastor and psychotherapist Ryan Casey Waller says no. Mental health issues are not a symptom of a spiritual failing or insufficient faith; rather, suffering is the very thing our Savior seeks to heal as he leads us toward restoration. And yet, as Waller has experienced personally, the battle can be lonely and discouraging. But it doesn't have to be.
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So insightful, helpful, and comforting!
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A headline for a great book
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More than I knew before
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Our brains do their best to help us out, but every so often they can be real assholes - having meltdowns, getting addicted to things, or shutting down completely at the worst possible moments. Your brain knows it's not good to do these things, but it can't help it sometimes - especially if it's obsessing about trauma it can't overcome. That's where this life-changing book comes in. With humor, patience, science, and lots of good-ole swearing, Dr. Faith explains what's going on in your skull, and talks you through the process of retraining your brain to respond appropriately....
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Untuck this recording quality
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not really meant for audio
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In this collection, Alan Watts displays the intelligence, playfulness of thought, and simplicity of language that has made him so perennially popular as an interpreter of Eastern thought for Westerners. He draws on a variety of religious traditions, and covers topics such as the challenge of seeing one's life “just as it is,” the Taoist approach to harmonious living, the limits of language in the face of ineffable spiritual truth, and the psychological symbolism of Christian thought.
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In this fully revised and updated second edition of When Perfect Isn't Good Enough, you'll discover the root cause of your perfectionism, explore the impact of perfectionism on your life, and find new, proven-effective coping skills to help you overcome your anxiety about making mistakes. This guide also includes tips for dealing with other perfectionists and discussions about how perfectionism is linked to worry, depression, anger, social anxiety, and body image.
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Great help
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What listeners say about Perfectly Hidden Depression
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 06-09-20
Heartwarming
Both the writer and the narrator are excellent. It has been warming my soul listening to these two ladies, who, despite the serious work this journey requires, are able to plant bravery to the listener in a very gentle manner. I am glad I found this audiobook, thanks to one of my mistakes, showing me in itself, what perfection lies in imperfection ;).
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- Seija
- 02-12-23
Very meaningful for a specific audience
The author has identified and clearly communicates about a specific sort of mental malady, where perfectionism and dismissing your own self - needs, feelings - becomes a coping strategy to deal with life when more healthy ones have been insufficient or not available. I was one to suffer from this, and rhe descriptions are so very familiar. I read a lot of self-help around the subject and this book is by far the most accurate. I heartily recommend.
My only concern is that I am not at all sure if I had recognized myself or had been able to benefit from the book before my therapy. The thought patterns were so automatic and so out of sight for myself. But this book certainly would have made me think, and possibly nudge me to get the help I needed, if I had encountered it before the events that forced me to do it.
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- Bill Weaver
- 06-01-20
Comprehensive & Well Written
Are you hard on yourself, with a driven, and determined personality, but you simultaneously struggle by being sad, anxious, and worried? This informative guide could help to lead you towards a much happier life. Find out if you have a hidden perfectionist trait that is causing you unhappiness. Learn solutions to a more satisfactory, happier and fulfilling life. I gained self-insights, and highly recommend this book.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-24-21
informative
This book provided me with a lot of information that helped, and answered many question that I had regarding depression.
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- Kimberly Davis
- 10-27-20
Amazing
What fulfillment and healing this has brought me! I’ve been listening to your podcasts for years breaking the cycle of abuse and seeing my worth thank you from the depth of my soul Dr. Rutherford!
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- Anonymous User
- 01-15-22
Very helpful
The journey of healing is long but this book defiantly showed me where the problem started in my life and exposed the roots of the destructive behavior that looked very normal to me
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- czarina
- 10-16-20
This book can save lives
I like how this book was so clear and easy to understand. There are some very helpful activities in here that will help build insight whether you are a clinician or an individual who thinks you’re struggling with perfectly hidden depression. This book differentiates perfectly hidden depression from all other disorders. It’s a great book for anyone to read.
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- SLM
- 12-28-21
Perfect for me
I struggled at first and laid this book aside. Picked it up about a year later, just finished it and realize it is exactly what I need. I am going to dig in and do the work in the reflections, as I wanted to read it through first.
Thank you Dr. Margaret for a well written book and for being open about your struggles with PHD. I do feel better just reading this book. I look forward to more healing with the work I will do in journaling my reflections.
I encourage anyone to read this book that even suspects they might be a perfectionist.
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- Sim
- 05-12-23
To the point
This book may have literally saved my sanity. It was a timely listen at a point I needed a name for what I’d been feeling for years.
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- Brenda M.
- 09-30-20
Life Changing
This book is life changing. It asks and answers so many questions that I didn’t know I even had. It makes me think deep, re-evaluate and give myself grace along with looking at narratives of my life with a fresh look.
I highly recommend this book.
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